Rules have gotten a bad wrap in the modern world. We have all heard
slogans like “Rules were made to be broken,” and many people
think of rules only as devices of control used to stifle freedom and
drain creativity. In reality, however, we human beings need rules,
and the order, discipline, and structure they provide, if we are
going to grow in character and knowledge and reach our potential.
This is especially true in the spiritual life. Without some measure
of order, discipline, and structure, daily distractions and busyness
can easily crowd out prayer, reflection, Scripture reading, and the
sacraments. Pressure to conform to the secular world threatens our
moral standards, and stress drains the energy we need to fight the
ever-present urge to give in and be just like everyone else. God
fades into the background of life instead of taking center stage
where He belongs.
How can we combat these tendencies? How can we regain our spiritual
balance and focus? We can begin by designing a personal rule of
life.
What Is a
Rule of Life?
A rule of life is essentially a list of spiritual disciplines and
goals geared to an individual's particular circumstances and
struggles. Let's get more specific. First of all, a rule of life is
not
On the other hand, a rule of life is
a tool that helps us grow in our relationships with God and other
people;
a flexible guideline that helps us order our lives toward God;
realistic and practical;
the result of self reflection;
all about God!
Further, a rule of life is
a way to respond to God's call to an intimate, personal
relationship;
a way to attain some much-needed discipline in our disordered world
and busy lives;
a way to experience true freedom, which is freedom for God, for
love, and for holiness;
a way to progress toward God and track our progress;
a way to correct bad habits and develop virtue;
a way to strengthen prayer life;
a way to promote spiritual study;
a way to put the sacraments at the forefront of life;
a way to learn to interact with other people;
a way to allow God to direct our lives!
Writing a
Rule of Life
At
this point, you might be thinking, “That's all well and good, but
let's get practical here. How do I write a rule like that? What
kinds of disciplines and goals should I choose? What should I focus
on?” The following steps will guide you through the process.
Begin with prayer. Ask God to open your eyes so that you may see
yourself clearly and to open your heart and mind so that you may
allow Him to enter in and draw you close to Himself.
Thoroughly examine your spiritual condition, carefully considering
your strengths, weaknesses, interests, difficulties, delights, and
challenges. Ask yourself, “What is working well in my spiritual
life? In which areas do I need to grow? What do I need to change?”
More importantly, try to answer these questions honestly and
completely, jotting down a few notes about your reflections that you
can refer back to as you write your rule.
Based
on what you've
discovered in your
self-examination, you can now select the categories for your rule.
Possibilities include, but are certainly not limited to, prayer,
sacraments, acts of penance, reading and study, virtues, good works,
and relationships.
For each category, choose a few specific disciplines or goals that
will help us grow spiritually and enter into a deeper relationship
with God. These should be directed by your self-examination,
addressing weaknesses, playing off strengths, setting challenges,
and recognizing interests. Keep in mind the following:
Your choices should be geared to your personality and individual
needs. You are not doing this to impress or compete with others.
Your choices should be specific. Instead of “Pray more,” for
example, you could decide to “Pray for fifteen minutes each
day.”
Your choices should be practical. You should be able to do them,
to measure your progress, and to hold yourself accountable.
Your choices should not overwhelm you. Be sure to limit your
disciplines and goals. They should challenge and stretch you but
not make you crazy with a checklist a mile long.
Your choices should be focused on God. Allow Him to direct you as
you build your rule and continually ask yourself, “How will
practicing this discipline help me grow closer to God?”
At this point, you are ready to submit your rule to God. Ask Him to
bless you and guide you as you try to live out the disciplines and
goals you've set. You can do this in a simple, private prayer, or
you can speak to your priest and ask him to accept your rule and
bless you after Mass.
Finally, you might consider sharing your rule with someone else, a
spouse, a close friend, a parent, or anyone who might be willing to
pray for you and ask you periodically how things are going. People
tend to honor their commitments better if they know that someone
will be checking up on them every now and then.
Sample
Elements
Still feeling a bit shaky about this whole idea of a rule of life?
I wrote my rule for the first time in 2009, and while I have not
always been successful at living it out, I have found that its helps
me structure my spiritual life and keep on track in my spiritual
growth. Below are a few examples from my own rule. Please don't
feel like you have to copy these exactly; I'm just providing them to
give you a few ideas.
A Saint's
Rule of Life
Finally, as we develop and live out our rules of life, we should
always remember that we are in good company. Many of the saints
followed rules of life, either in religious communities or
individually.
St.
Francis de Sales, for instance, wrote a rule of life for himself when
he was a college student. Surrounded by a city full of temptations
and unsavory characters, Francis recognized the risks involved
in his education. He had already consecrated himself to God through
the Blessed Virgin Mary and had decided to become
a priest, so he knew that he needed increased discipline to hold fast
to his vows. His rule of life was designed to to help him overcome
his current challenges, grow in intimacy with God, and progress
toward his ultimate goal of the priesthood.
Francis divided his rule into four main sections, each of which
contains several specific practices.
Exercises of preparation – These helped Francis begin his day.
He committed to invoking God's help, imagining the kinds of
challenges he might face, disposing himself to act with virtue,
resolving not to offend God, and recommending himself into God's
hands.
“Seven
articles for the well performance of daily actions” - In this
section, Francis promised to thank God when he rose each morning;
to assist
at daily Mass; to rest in God for a while each day; to pray some
each night before going to sleep; to turn to God if he woke up in
the night; to pray for light in the darkness; and to trust
in God in times of fear.
“Of
spiritual repose” - Francis knew that in the midst of his busy
schedule, he needed to take time to rest in God. He decided to do
the following during those times of rest: recollect the good;
reject the vanities of the world; reflect on the horrors of
sin and vice; reflect on the excellence of virtue; admire God's
gift of reason; ponder God's justice and the horrors of hell;
ponder God's attributes (like wisdom, power, and goodness) and the
paradise of Heaven; and relish
the love of God.
“Rules
for Intimacy” - Finally, Francis developed some rules to govern
his relationships with other people. He was especially eager to
act with modesty, restraint, honor, discretion, and right judgment
and to develop true intimacy with only a few virtuous people even
while treating everyone with respect. He did not want to fall into
bad company or compromise his virtue.
With this rule, Francis was already on the path to sainthood. He
recognized his weaknesses, embraced his opportunities, and challenged
himself to grow ever closer to God.
Are You
Ready?
Are you ready to create your own rule of life? Are you ready take
the time to reflect on your current spiritual state and draw up a
plan that will help you provide order, discipline, and structure to
your spiritual life? Are you ready to enter into a closer
relationship with God?
If so, please pray with me.
Lord, I want to grow closer to You. Show me, please, where I am
in my spiritual life and what I need to do to grow in virtue and
avoid sin. Guide me as I prepare my little rule of life that I may
do so according to Your will. May it never become an end in itself
but always remain a tool and a means to ever-greater intimacy with
You. Amen.
Source:
Gallitia, Peter Hyacinth. The
Life of Saint Francis de Sales, Bishop and Prince of Geneva.
Vol. 1. London: Richardson and Son, 1854. Pages 44-52.
